From breakdown to breakthrough

A few years ago I had a breakdown. It was very serious. My body shut down and I couldn’t communicate with my family and friends. Sleep was a big issue for me as I couldn’t sleep with all the rational thoughts going on in my head.

I felt like a drone in the sky.

I felt like a drone in the sky. It was like someone taking me out of my body and putting me up in the air away from all my family and friends. I could not speak no matter how hard I tried. My mind was racing with paranoia thoughts and to me it seemed quite real. I was frightened to leave the house and I isolated myself away from everyone.

I was attending the hospital as an out-patient and participated in many courses run by the hospital. This helped me towards my recovery and I went back to work. Things started to go down hill again and I stopped eating. I eventually was admitted to the psychiatrist ward in Hospital in July 2018 for 7 and half weeks. During that time in hospital I got the best of care from doctors, nurses and care staff. I got discharged in August and things started to look up for me. I and I was back to my old self and still attend the hospital as an out patient every 3 months.

However I am now back to work since October on a 3 day week and doing very well. I am also a better person today. I don’t have any worries or anxiety to-date. I am also a good listener and enjoy peoples company. I am grateful for my health and I thank god for this daily.

During my recovery I attended a STEPS Programme Excellence and Personal Success NEWKD in Listowel run by my sister Dee Keogh who delivered the programme in a dynamic interesting way. Having complete the 3 day STEPS programme. I came away with so many skills that has helped my recovery to date. I learnt not to think in the past. As you can’t change the past. What’s done is done and you can’t change that. So I just concentrate on the future. That’s how I get by from day to day. This was explained in STEP 1 of the course. This is known for pushing back boundaries. Once you learn this effective skill you will break through boundaries and attempt things you never thought possible. I joined a choir in Dublin City Council and I haven’t look back since. I love being part of a team and singing as it’s good for the soul. I never thought I’d get this far in life and I am so grateful.

You will break through boundaries

and attempt things

you never thought possible

STEP 11 -Setting goals and create your future. This STEP shows us that when we set our mind to a goal that we want. We will get there. We looked at the power of self talk regulates to our performances for new energy to keep going. This is how I reached my goal of going back to work along with my cognitive behaviour therapy.

STEP 10 was understanding change and stepping out of your comfort zone. I learnt to visualise my portentously and use the Affirmation process. I was scared that my illness would come back at any stage. I use this STEP everyday to keep me well. I say my affirmation thank god for my health and never get sick again. This is working.

Liz McCarthy